East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
