you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
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Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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