Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
