My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well I just put wine in my tea
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
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