bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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