bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
