Non-Jews are for practice
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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