I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
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My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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