so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
