i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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