i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
