I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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