Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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