Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
