You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
