Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Too much gin, very little bucket
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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