Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize