Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
