wanna go halves on a baby?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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