Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The uberlube is also flammable
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
