How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
