Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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