Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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