i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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