Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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