He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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