i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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