woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
