is your mom at the bar?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
ttyl tear gas
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
