it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
