Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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