i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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