I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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