Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize