I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
