I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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