Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
