So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
