You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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