some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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