New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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