SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
