Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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