Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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