hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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