Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
