Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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