What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
