maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize