let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I could make wine with my vomit
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
