She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize