I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Green mimosas i think yes
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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