I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
