No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
